A Response To The EDM Snob’s “Defense of Kandi Kids”…

kandi kids are lame

Dear EDM Snob,

I’ve had the pleasure of reading your electronic dance music drivel lately. I’m nonplussed. I tried sending you an e-mail on Monday, but I couldn’t get through because well… your server was down. You bill yourself as an insufferable snob, but your website is hosted on Go Daddy. That’s not very “snob” of you. I expected more. Kind of like I expected more out of that “In Defense of Kandi Kids” article you put on the Internet Monday. Cheap server issues aside, I thought I’d write you an open letter from a blogstar who’s likes to call it like I see it.

I’m not writing this open letter because you may or may not work as the talent buyer for LIV. I’m not writing this letter because I hate people who sport “kandi.” I’m not even writing this letter to expose you. I’m writing this letter because the article you wrote yesterday was perhaps the most over-the-top, self-serving, pseudo-psychological article I’ve ever read in my entire blog career. Just when I thought I had seen it all, you wrote an article about neon friendship bracelets and the significance they carry within the EDM world. It really took the cake.

What does this first sentence even mean? I’ve read it five times and it still doesn’t make any sense. I get it, raves used to be underground and illegal. Are you suggesting that a bunch of kids, who paid to go to a rave by their own volition, are “repressed” akin to those in the Middle East because they can’t rave as hard as they normally do? Do you really think the United States government is collaborating to undermine the international bead market to infringe on your rainbow colored bead-making rights? That somehow they’ll force ravers to turn to the underground bead market to fulfill their arts and crafts void? They’ve got far bigger fish to fry my friend. It’s the economy, stupid.

Snob, I imagine you to be the type to beg your mom to take you to the nearest Michaels so you could make friendship bracelets in the privacy of your own room. If that’s the case, that’s fine. Bead on girlfriend. Don’t sit here and tell me that your beads are so important that you can’t display them for the world to see. You’re telling me that colorful beads made by slave labor in China have some magical significance that you’ve projected on them through your own personal designation? If that’s the case, where do you get to even wear them? Do they sit in a safety-deposit box all day with an encrypted code that only you know?

You think or you know? This paragraph is what really grinds my gears snob. Let’s assume, for the sake of argument, that the music of the 60′s and 70′s played a role in the defining those decades. To claim that Bob Dylan’s music “makes it easier” on a disenfranchised African American male or female to “protest” is borderline offensive. Where in the “background” do you suppose the music was playing when Martin Luther King made the historic march from Selma to Montgomery? Was someone carrying a kandi coated boom-box? Do you think Dr. King whipped out his iPod to give him that little “extra push” to keep on fighting for his inalienable rights? I think not snob. You might want to crack open a 4th grade history book before you make another fantastic claim. I’ve got one you can borrow.

Because wearing a bunch of rainbow colored beads, which is the equivalent of pogs for wanna-be-adults, is really living on the edge. Just a huge risk to be out in public wearing kandi. I’m sure the Kandi gestapo would stop you on site, confiscate your multi-color contrabrand, and sentence you to the gulags for the rest of your rave eternity.

I don’t hate your EDM culture snob. I’m a fan as well. I don’t hate people who wear beads to raves. It’s a physical object that represents a memory that you’ve made. I understand the appeal. Regardless, you’re still the biggest cornball around.

I want to let you know that I’m watching you and your bead cartel. I’m the hero the blogosphere deserves but not the one it needs right now. I’ve got a team of blog goons that will come all up in your crib, put malware on your computer, and execute a DDS attack on your Go Daddy hosted server faster than you can bead a single neon anklet.

Just remember… blogs forgive, I don’t.

Plurfully Yours,

The EDM Snob’s Worst Nightmare

 

20 Replies to A Response To The EDM Snob’s “Defense of Kandi Kids”…

  1. EDMGUY says:

    Hahhahaha, this article is too good. Kandi Kids are the worst.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Lol, you’re a really bad troll.

  3. Guest says:

    THANK YOU

  4. Dillon says:

    you’re a dick

  5. FUCKABLOGDOG says:

    The “EDM Snob” needed to be taken down. This article is pure brilliance.

  6. Lindsay says:

    ooo the big speech

  7. Madison says:

    This is the most retarded “response” ever. It’s just being argumentative for the sake of being argumentative. Or the sake of being a dick. Pick one.

    Oh, and for your information, many of the social, cultural, and political revolutions of the 60′s and 70′s were highly influenced by the music of the times. Spurred, even. Maybe it’s time you trade in that 4th grade history book for a college level one, “Nightmare.”

  8. anthony says:

    This is unnessessary. you seriously had to write an artical && TRY to putt down somebody like that? he is expressing on how he feels about the ppl now days at raves and on how hot topic is selling bracletes for money.. your a fukkin ass hole and you keep on going like this because this is going to take you to a place that all us Kandi Kids want all you mainstream ppl to go, And its to a deep deep shit hole where you rot like a fukkin dead insect you are!! so fukk you && fukk off you faget ass hater that has nothing else to do but write shitty ass blogs agains other ppls blogs, thats just embarressing, go to school, get a life!!!

    • ZMurda says:

      “go to school”- First, I’m pretty sure, and by pretty sure I mean I know, that the writer has a journalism degree from the number 1 journalism school in the world. Second, I’m not usually one to pick on people’s grammar and spelling but since you used the line “go to school” and do not know how to spell so I feel it’s necessary. ” unnessessary”, “artical”, “putt”, “bracletes”, “your”, “embarressing”, I left off all the cuss words since those are slang and if you want to spell them like a 3rd grader then I guess you can. My point is here, don’t use the line “go to school” if clearly you don’t even have a high school diploma.

      Now let me get this straight, you (and all Kandi Kids) want all “mainstream people” to go to a “deep deep shit hole” where they, or should I say we, “rot like a fukkin dead insect”. So what you are saying you want is a world where only Kandi Kids live? Because the mainstreamers are so evil and ruin the world? Because if only Kandi Kids lived the world would be a magical place? I mean I just have a hard time comprehending such an ignorant thought. Please elaborate on how the world would be if you and the Kandi Kids got what they wanted.

  9. Joe says:

    While I don’t agree with your cyber warfare threats, very well said.

  10. Me says:

    Haters gonna hate. Always will. Sad, sad world.

  11. LivSucksDick says:

    Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. For writing this.

    Snob doesnt give a shit about kandi, or anything else than getting followers. He has already contradicted himself a zillion times in his writings. Next article please tell everyone on twitter to click UN-Follow @edmsnob bc he is taking up space in this world. Thank you again

  12. jasonbork says:

    If anyone of you are actually defending the snob I reccomend you read the letter he sent to Pasquale ceo of insomniac. Link here: http://edminsider.com/snobs-email-to-pasquale-rotella/

    Allow me to summarize. He admits his blog is “superficial conflict” and that is somehow good for the indsutry. He also compares edm to pro wrestling. When this letter was published snob took to twiiter and admitted it was true but that earlier email exchanges were left out which would make that letter more plausible. I think he forgot that the end of his letter asks pasquale to reply or he will essentially blackmail him with more hateful blog writings. So that means pasquale never did reply and the snob is a liar.

    Recap, snob lies everyday on twitter just to appease people and get more followers. He also thinks what the electronic music world needs is more conflict, yet he preaches PLUR. The only thing the snob really needs is a psychiatrist and a few nights in jail and maybe then he will think twice about stealing djmag receipts and bashing public figures. I give this whole charade a few more weeks tops and it all comes crashing down. The cracks are already beginning to show.

    Ps, shame on those supporting this twit or providing him with personal legal info. As with most companies, when the head is cut off the tail will die off soon too.

  13. Aidan says:

    This just became my favorite blog. Thank you, internet stranger.

  14. Coriander says:

    Silly troll. You realize that you totally misinterpreted the third quote, right? The whole Bob Dylan thing was in reference to the ANTI-WAR movement, which is directly cited in the first paragraph. You seem smart enough to understand that. Apparently not.
    Oh, and the second. The first sentence which you are evidently too stupid to get is in reference to the paragraph before it, which talks about how the word “rave” has become derogatory over the past decade or so. Maybe you should actually READ the article before you come up with your so elegantly-worded, snide response.
    You call yourself a “blogstar”? That’s just bullshit. I don’t mean that you don’t have tons of fans. You probably do. What I mean is that you make yourself look even worse under that egotistical name.
    If this isn’t the epitome of bad, obvious trolling, then I don’t know what is.

  15. e says:

    I have to agree with a writer above. Rather than looking at the blog post for what it was, a fellow raver depicting a personal journey they feel is now being compromised, you decided to rip it apart and force the notion that “The Snob” is ignorant or in the least, fake. Your “response” tries too hard to find fault in an article that is purely opinion. Yes, you’re entitled to your opinion, as well as your response, but you went looking for a fault rather than casting light on one. Yes, the article is a bit over the top, but your cynical outlook doesn’t make you sound as witty as you may think. Because of this error, you seem petty and over-analytic.

    Better luck next time,
    e

  16. unbiased says:

    Look, I tink the Snob is an asshole too. But him being an asshole, and the writer of this being an asshole are by no means mutually exclusive. He says he wears a necklace with a Thoreau quote to remind him of something he believes in. In no way does he even come close to implying that the necklace itself makes him avant-garde or that he in any way is living on the edge BECAUSE of the kandi gear. If this writer really is a graduate of the number one journalism school – Newhouse at ‘Cuse I’m guessing – than I might have to ratchet down my respect for that program. The writing is sub-par, and the points are just as nonsensical as what he’s railing against. Maybe the Snob has an agenda, maybe he’s a dick, but you’re getting all riled up because he’s defending a piece of sub-culture who’s perceived loss he mourns. Me? I’m riled up that people think this is good writing.

  17. Alex says:

    This isn’t even a good retort lol. Try again.

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