Sammy Adams…Grow Up!

The (D)Evolution of Sammy Adams Lyrical Content

By: Young Bro Hard

“A couple rounds going down like waAAAAaaater/ I wanna go all night longer.”

Oh, Sammy, only a lyrical genius like you could possibly find a way to rhyme the word ‘water’ with ‘longer’.  Here is my guess on how that writing session went down.

Sammy: Fuck, I’ve already exhausted every English word in the dictionary that rhymes with ‘alcohol,’ what do I do?

Sammy’s Ex-Frat Bro who continues to mooch off his money and fame: How about ‘water’? That’s a liquid too, am I right?

Sammy: Yeah bruh, but water doesn’t get me schwasted… WAIT, I got it. Let’s slap a shit-ton of autotune on this motherfucker, (that way hoes think it rhymes), and then add a fourth-grade reading level simile to make water synonymous with booze!

(hardcore high fives are exchanged…the end)

But seriously, where does this kid think he is going? Quick reality check for you Sam…You. Are. Not. In. College. Any. Longer. Please. Stop. Making. Empty. Party. Music.

The thing that disgusts me more than anything else is that so many other artists have been able to switch their ‘College-rap’ persona successfully and continue down their hippity-hop career path. Asher Roth is a perfect example of a kid who got his fame off of one party record but then managed to establish a name for himself as one of the most diverse and lyrical rappers of his age bracket.

Honestly, I think I figured out why Sam keeps releasing songs that make me want to smash my speakers in to my forehead and grab the nearest pencil to push through my ear holes…He’s been drunk this entire time! Like, he just hasn’t sobered up since he started college/rapping. His brain is so clouded with Four Loko and Natty Light that he has no idea that he’s even making all this awful music! He keeps recycling the same garbage lines in every song, and rapping about the “supa hawt chicks” he bangs on the regular. So listen here you wanna be Van Wilder, grow up. Nothing is more pathetic than graduates who stick around their college campuses long passed their welcome.

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