You Look Dumb Wearing Beats

 

Came across an awesome Tumblr site today that prompted me to weigh in on the topic. It’s called “You Look Dumb Wearing Beats“……go there for a good laugh.

So the iPod launches an earbuds craze that lasted for a while (at least while it was “cool” just to have the coveted sleek white Apple earbuds), until people figured out that those little earbuds sucked…they sucked ass. Enter Skullcandy.

Skullcandy is the first company I remember re-introducing some sleek new headphones onto the market. They even teamed up with Jay-Z and did a line of ROC Nations headphones, a precursor to the era of headphone branding strategies we are now living in. Now I could be way off, because I’m from the heart of the Midwest and we get everything a year or two later here, and obviously legitimate sound companies like BOSE have always produced quality headphones, but my dad rocks BOSE headphones. Aren’t those for old people to wear when they sleep on airplanes? In reality, they are amazing (and expensive) headphones, but their brand lacks a connection with the younger markets, and Skullcandy was literally just an accessory for your head when it comes to sound quality. Enter Dr. Dre, HTC and a team full of business and branding gurus.

A spokesman, a few celebrity friend endorsers, a sleek logo, and a couple carefully targeted ads later, you have the current reign of Beats by Dre headphones, pulling in a cool $100 million for The Doctor in 2011. The offer great  good quality, a comfortable fit, but most importantly, they make you look reeeeal freakin’ cool. I mean, you can argue that they look cool and that’s why you wear them, and I guess I would agree…you look as cool as you can rocking an accessory modled after earmuffs. Just know, that by wearing them, I’ll know that you’re alright with being ripped off as long as it helps you fit in; information I will use later to exploit you and convince you to give me all of your money.

Now, I don’t hate people for wearing these headphones, honestly, I’m just jealous I don’t have a pair. What I do hate is little kids running around bragging about the sound quality of their overpriced ear ornaments with no practical knowledge on the subject. You’ve been told it’s cool, you’ve been convinced it’s great sound quality and and you hopped your trendy little ass right on that bandwagon. Just call it what it is, you sheep.

Of course, after the huge success from Dr. Dre’s Beats line, a whole mess of other people want to start slangin’ headphones. I imagine Dre was at a party, had a little too much to drink and started bragging about how much money he was making off young impressionable rich kids. Now everybody wants a piece of that action. 50 Cent has his own line of headphones now with SMS Audio. Ludacris has his own line with SOUL. I’m sure 2 Chainz and his line of “Ear Titties” by Sony will be out by Christmas and I heard Skrillex is working to create headphones made of 100% pure organic kandi beads to be sold exclusively at Target.

Overall, I think it’s genius what Dr. Dre did with his line of headphones (and laptops), and I think it’s great that other rappers are entering the market. It’s smart business. It’s smart because there will always be a population of mindless followers who need to consume the latest trend…and are willing to pay. I’m just going to stick with my BOSE and you’re free to rock your Lady GaGa’s meat covered headphones, just don’t let me catch you getting all pretentious and douchey about your sound quality.

One Reply to You Look Dumb Wearing Beats

  1. yea says:

    “Now, I don’t hate people for wearing these headphones, honestly, I’m just jealous I don’t have a pair. What I do hate is little kids running around bragging about the sound quality of their overpriced ear ornaments with no practical knowledge on the subject. You’ve been told it’s cool, you’ve been convinced it’s great sound quality and and you hopped your trendy little ass right on that bandwagon. Just call it what it is, you sheep.”

    ^ that’s exactly how I feel.

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