All posts in I Hate Everyone

How Lil B Got Based…


Lil B 4 years ago…


Lil B 3 years ago…


Lil B yesterday…

I hate Lil B fans…you’re everything wrong with the music industry.

2 Chainz – Birthday Song (feat. Kanye West)

2 Chainz, Just Some Good Old Fashioned Family Friendly Fun!

By: Some New Broad

Guess who’s gearing up for a spot on the next release of Kidz Bop? That’s right, our dear friend 2 Chainz. At least, that seems to be the goal he had in mind when changing his name from “Tity Boi” to “2 Chainz” last year. Here’s an ACTUAL quote from Mr. Chainz…I can’t even make this shit up:

“I just came up with it [the name change] yesterday over a big bowl of kush for breakfast…Lately like the last year or so, I’ve been saying it in introducing my records like ‘2 Chainz!’ and kinda making it family friendly.”

I’m really excited that this move has validated activities like ‘pimpin’ and ‘trappin’ as family friendly, because I was getting a little worried that my parents weren’t going to give me what I wanted for my birthday…A big booty hoe, of course!

But here’s the craziest part about the name change…It actually WORKED. Doesn’t give you a whole lot of faith in humanity, does it? Since the name change, 2 Chainz’s sales hit #58 on Billboard and he’s recorded tracks with Kanye West (see video above), Nicki Minaj, and Drake. Now he’s all over the place! Apparently as a country we just love us some “family values” in our honey bunches of kush.

Since when can you just change your name and image and suddenly appeal to EVERYONE? It’s like nobody noticed that this is the EXACT SAME GUY that sucked last year! If I change my name to John Mayer will Taylor Swift write a doe-eyed he-fucked-me-over-because-I-loved-him-for-some-reason-and-still-want-him-back-yay-blonde-hair song about me? (This is a life goal). Seriously though, are we dumb enough as music listeners to not care that everything is the exact same (see: pimping, trapping) and believe that a new rap name really defines a new you? I get that people do change, albums have different messages, and people like Christina “X-tina” Aguilera have successfully gone through more changes than Huey Mack preparing for a date with Mike Stud. But, even if Justin Bieber gets a hair cut that makes him look less like a lesbian, he’ll still have the same level of talent, musicianship, and the ‘swag’ that ex-swagger-coach-Ryan bestowed upon him, right?

It all comes down to marketing. Scream your stupid name in a song enough times and you can brainwash the  public into thinking that you are actually relevant/talented. If you listen to 2 Chainz and honestly think to yourself, “Wow, what great musicianship,” then you deserve a brand new hole in your head. You listen to 2 Chainz because you are told to listen to 2 Chainz and he’s popular right now because you’ve been made to believe that he is popular. Nothing but a bunch of mindless goddamn sheep.

Shout out to every blog who raced to post his new video today! For real, no way you’re part of the problem.

 

Why?….Goddamn Hipsters

Here’s a video that will make you want to choke a puppy. Gotta give it to them for the perfect band name though. Goddamn hipsters.

Grimes – Genesis

If this video doesn’t make you want to walk into the nearest Starbucks and punch the first hipster you see right in their stupid horn rimmed glasses, then there is something wrong with you. Some people might think that a sudden urge to commit assault on a stranger after watching a music video means that there must be something wrong with ME…..To you, I say, watch the video, then we’ll talk.

Another Embarrassing School “Anthem” From Mizzou…

“Mizzou moved to the SEC! We better make a song about it,” said no one ever…wait…dammit, why would you do this!

Just as Mizzou was finally starting to heal from the throat lashing their “We Are Mizzou” video deservedly prompted, a bunch of overweight dickheads had to pour salt in the wound with this pile of hot garbage. KNOCK IT OFF WITH THE SCHOOL PRIDE ANTHEMS! That goes for everyone.

The next time you see a group of idiots shooting what looks to be a music video on your campus, walk up to the guy with the camera, take it out of his hand, throw it on the ground, then punch him in the stomach and walk away. Together, we can prevent these things from ever being made again. No more excuses.

Sigur Ros – Fjogur Piano

Remember Kanye’s 30 minute long video for his album “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy?” Yea…this is waaaay worse than that “artsy” exercise in extreme narcissism. I guess Shia Labeouf just needed a reason to show the world his frank and beans…I don’t even know what to say. I had to fast forward through this garbage in about 60 seconds, and it was still brutal to sit through. If you watch this video in it’s entirety and enjoy it, even a little bit, do us all a favor and move to France.

Farrah Abraham – Finally Getting Up From Rock Bottom

Looking to get a record deal? You’re going to need tremendous talent, an insatiable work ethic and a little bit of luck, right? Not in this day and age. Apparently getting knocked up at 16 and exploiting your pregnancy on MTV makes you more qualified to be a pop star than having any amount of discernible talent these days. We’re all fucking doomed.

This is the first (and hopefully last…) single from Teen Mom star, Farrah Abraham. It sounds like auto-tuned sound-clips of her giving birth over some shitty techno-trance beat. Farrah may be “getting up from rock bottom” but the music industry just hit theirs. I can honestly say this is the worst song I’ve ever heard…so I’m sure it will be a huge hit. If this isn’t a sure tell sign that the Mayans were spot on about the world ending this year, then I don’t know what is! We’re all fucked.

 

Lil B – Fu*k Me

Let’s take all the people on Earth that actually think this is GOOD music, and throw them in that underground pit prison in The Dark Knight Rises…only without a fucking rope. I don’t want any of these people even having the opportunity to rejoin society.